About little red poles and bikelanes (Or: Why China hates Amsterdam)
by ILoveSprinklesOnMyToast
Summary: Why would someone choose to have a world meeting in Amsterdam? Such an immature city... Japan promises himself he will never get into a car with China again. EVER. Really silly. First fanfic.


**Hello, this story kind of came up to me while I was lying in bed, so I decided to make an account on and publish it. It is a little silly, but this is the first fanfiction I've ever written. I'm kinda thinking about writing a fanfiction about the Netherlands, but I wanted to try a simple story first, to see if it isn't to bad. I apologize for any grammatical errors. '(the mistakes in the characters lines are done on purpose, because I think their accent is like that.) I would love any kind of review/criticism because it could be useful for me to learn how to become a better writer. Well, that's all. Enjoy the story!**

**Welcome to the Netherlands (Or ,why China hates Amsterdam)**

"What is wrong with this city aru!? Why aren't there any parking spots!?" China exclaimed angrily, with his head out of the window, desperately looking for an empty spot. "China-san, prease, keep your eyes on the traffic." Japan warned. China rolled his eyes. "Oh please, I'm older one. I know how to drive, okay? Respect your elder Japan, respect your elder." Japan sighed. "I didn't want to insurt you China-san, but traffic in _Oranda_ is very different from China" China huffed. "Really? I am very good driver aru. I can handle all kinds of traffic, in all kinds of countries! I am personification of China, nothing related to traffic can suprise me anymore aru." "I agree with China,_ da_." came a heavily Russian accented voice from the backseat. Both China and Japan turned around in their seats, only to be faced with an cheerful looking Russian, holding a bunch of sunflowers. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY CAR ARU!?" China shrieked. Russia smiled. "Vwell, it's winter in Russia at the moment, _da_. And I woke up to find my car covered in snow. Then I received call from Belgium for emergency vworld meeting, and I just had to come, since it vwas emergency." Russia explained, his sickly sweet smile never leaving his face. "So you snuck into my car!? You been sitting there the whole time!? " China exclaimed disbelievingly. He looked at Japan, who's eyes were as wide as saucers. Suddenly, China smacked Japan on his head. "Are you blind!? How come you didn't notice!? Aiyaah, I didn't raise you like that aru!" He continued smacking Japans head, completely forgetting that he was driving on a busy road. "China-san prease- AW!- keep your hands on the -AW!- steering wheer!" Japan begged desperately. "You will kill us all!" China just continued to scream obscenities, and to completely ignore anything Japan tried to say. Then Russia decided to step in. "Vwell no need to argue_ da_?" He said in his creepily cheery voice. China fell silent. "You right. I'm sorry Japan. I should have been more mature." "That's okay. Just get your hands on the wheer again, prease." Japan replied, relieved that all had ended well.

"Good." Russia said. He then raised from the backseat, hugged both Japan and China from behind and cooed "You have made up, now vwe can all become one _da_?" The two Asian countries froze. "Ahm.." China stammered, while he tried to remove the gigantic Russian arm around his neck with both of his hands. "Russia-san, I wourd rather not..." Japan began, but Russia's hug changed into a death grip, and he could only make strangled sounds. "_Da_, You two vwill become one with me.. and we can form union. And then we will rule the world _da_." Russia whispered, his friendly attitude nowhere to be seen. "RELEASE ME ARU! YOU CHOKING ME!" China shrieked, and he tried to escape by moving his arms and legs wildly, almost kicking Japan in the face. The car swerved to the left."China-san, focus on traffic.." Japan whispered weakly.

Finally, Russia released them both. "Another time then. But you vwill become one with me." China made a gorgling noise and put his hands on the wheel once again. Then, the biggest nation noticed something. "Vwhy is the road colored red?" Russia asked curiously. China threw his hands up in the air, frustrated. "Because we are in Holland, and everything in Holland is strange, aru." They continued to drive on the strange red path. China mumbling negative things about the Netherlands.

Then Japan saw a group of black dots approaching them really fast. Realisation struck him. "We are driving on a BIKE RANE! CHINA-SAN watch out!" He screamed " Let me handle this, _da_." Russia offered. He grabbed the wheel and drove the car to the left. China and Japan both screamed as they hit a one of Amsterdams many little poles. Angry Dutch curses and diseases were thrown their way as all the cyclists swerved past their car. "WHAT THE HELL IS THAT POLE DOING HERE!?" roared China. Japan sighed. This was his worst car ride ever. Including the ones with Italy. "These poles are called Amsterdammers," Japan said exhausted. He rembered reading that in the book Netherlands gave him for _Sinterklaas_, whatever that may be. "They are here to prevent that people park their car on these spots." China wanted to cry. "There are absolutely no parking spaces in this WHOLE stupid city because of all of those stupid bicycles, and then they put poles in the empty spots!? WHAT KIND OF IMMATURE CITY IS THIS!?" He opened the door of the car, to look at the damage done. When he saw the front of his car, he actually started to cry.

"My car is ruined aru! Damn those stupid immature cyclists. Why are they cycling anyway!? It is freezing out here. I hate this country aru. Why would Belgium have a world meeting here? This isn't even Belgium..." Russia and Japan got out of the car too. They formed an odd sight. Russia rubbing China on his back comfortingly, while China wailed like a baby. Japan stared at his feet, this was getting emberassing.

_"Wat is hier aan de hand?"_ (**What is happening here?)** A Dutch police officer (On a bicycle) had approached them. When none of the countries responded, he got of his bicycle and walked up to China. He put his hand on the Asian's shoulder. "_Wat is er gebeurd mevrouw?"_ (**What happened madam?)** He asked politely. Japan snorted. He knew enough Dutch to know that the cop had just called China a woman. China glared at him. "What is he saying!?" Japan tried his best to keep his face straight, and said: "I do not know. The onry thing I courd understand is that he called you Madam." "You shouldn't have told him _da_." Russia said "Now China is going to explode da." China grabbed the officer by his collar and screamed (In very fast, angry Mandarin) "I AM NOT WOMAN ARU! I AM TIRED OF PEOPLE CONFUSING MY GENDER. I AM MANLY! YOU HEAR THAT!? I AM MANLY!" The officer turned slightly blue. "_Ik heb geen idee wat u zegt, mevrouw.. maar laat u mij alstublieft los, anders zal ik u mee moeten nemen naar het bureau."_ **(I have no idea what you are saying, madam. But please release me, otherwise I will have to arrest you.)** he choked out. "China-san, let him go! You'll kill him." Japan warned. China dropped the cop to the ground. The man put his cap back on his head, and tried not to lose his cool. "I am terribry sorry. This is just curturar misunderstanding." Japan apologized. The man stared at Japan blankly. Then his face brightened. "Aha! You guysh are tourists!" He said enthousiastically "Well we are not exactly touri-" Japan tried to explain, but the officer patted him on his shoulder and said. "Welcome to Amsterdam! Nice to see people visiting our beautiful capital!" China snorted. Japan thought it was best to please the officer, and decided to play along. "Yes, your country has very beautiful canals."

"The windmills are beautiful too!" Russia tagged along. The officer smiled. "Thatsh so nice to hear! It is very satisfying to have touristsh around who are not here for the coffeshopsh!" Japan felt slightly guilty but tried to stroke the officers ego some more. "Well who would come for the coffeeshops when there are so many praces to go sightseeing? Kinderdijk is very rovery (lovely)" "And those Oktoberfesten are great too!" China decided to join in too. Japan felt all colour drain from his already pale face. China had totally f*cked it up. The officers smile fell, and it changed into a cold look. He pulled a little notebook out of his pocket and began writing in it.

"Attack of an innocent officer doing his job, destroying national property. This is going to cost you three a lot of money." "Destroying of national property!? YOU MEAN THE POLE!?" China said disbelievingly, gesturing to the red object smashed into his car. "Those poles are very expensive to replace. Every ruined Amsterdammer feels like an stab in the heart for our beloved country Nederland." The officer exclaimed coldly. Japan sighed. That sounded exactly like Oranda. "You will also get a fine for disturbance of public order. That'll be 600 Euros for you two." he pointed at Japan and Russia. "What is this bullshit!?" China shrieked. The officer gave China a gaze that could freeze hell over. "You." He said slowly. "You have insulted my country. I will have to arrest you!" He grabbed China's arms and slammed him against the car, damaging the vehicle even further. "LET ME GO ARU!" China tried to kick the officer in the nuts. Russia stepped forward, holding his sunflowers like they were weapons. "You better let go of my friend da." He said sweetly. "Or I will smack this pretty flower into your face until I have slapped a hole into your face da." The officer grabbed his walky-talky and roared "_ALARM VERSTERKING! KOM MET ZOVEEL MOGELIJK MENSEN. IK WORD HIER ERNSTIG BEDREIGD_." (**Help I am being** **threatened**.** Send as many people as possible**.)Japan buried his face into his hands. This was not going to end well.

***Holland*Holland*Holland*Holland*Holland*Holland*Holland*Holland***

_*Later*_

"I didn't know that okay!? I didn't know that." China screamed. Japan sighed. "China-san I don't understand you. You are the eldest country and still you do not know-" "YES I DIDN'T KNOW OKTOBERFESTEN WERE GERMAN, OKAY? I didn't know Dutch people are so sensitive about Germans!" Russia smiled. "I hope the officer doesn't have to many broken bones, otherwise we will have to stay in prison for years." "I will go to worrd meeting now. Maybe you should try to call Netherlands." Japan suggested, looking at China and Russia who were seperated from him by thick barriers. "Maybe he can get you two out of jail." "Aiyaah, please don't tell anyone about this Japan." China sighed. Japan walked out of the police station and sighed. This was the last time he would travel with China.


End file.
